I'm afraid of dying even though I was saved
A person who believes in the Jodo Shinshu sect.
I met Mr. Amida and made my religious decision, but I'm afraid of dying.
Until now, my head has been full of doubts, and I've always been worried about whether or not I can be saved.
However, I didn't know much about what would happen after death and death, and now I relied on sutras translated into modern language on the internet.
The written content was difficult and I couldn't read everything, but after death, I interpreted it as meaning that after death, after being allowed to go to the Pure Land of Paradise, they received an unending life and practiced ascetic training all the time. Also, I understood that I might not be able to go to this world anymore.
Until now, I had misinterpreted it, and I misunderstood that returning to the present world after becoming a Buddha is being able to go back to this world and save my family and friends.
Now that I know that, even though Amida has solved the most important thing in my life, it's very painful because there are so many worries that are really extremely disrespectful, such as the fact that it's painful to live with my whole life after death, I don't want to do it because of the pain of training, and I don't want to be able to see my family or friends anymore.
What's more, ideas that are extremely rude and contrary to reason have come up, such as that if I hadn't made a religious decision, I might be reborn and meet my family again, and I'm falling into self-loathing.
If there are people whose faith has been decided, I would be happy if you could tell me how they perceive things after they have passed away.
