Zen Dialogues

Reflections from Japan's Buddhist Traditions

The ossuary of a stillborn child

I have a child who was stillborn 2 years ago due to surrogacy. I didn't feel like burying my ashes right away, so I bought a Buddhist altar and kept it close at hand. My husband's grandmother passed away the other day. Names are engraved on tombstones in the order in which they died, so...

4 responses

guilt

Nice to meet you and thank you for your support. I've been living for over 30 years until now, and when I stop and look back, I feel like I've made a mistake with everything I've done. I think there was an act that hurt people, didn't have kindness, judged people by wearing colored glasses,...

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About denominations and graves

My father-in-law bought a grave a few years ago. It was close to my parents' house and had a very good view. My father-in-law is the youngest child, so we split up. The family is from the Tendai sect, but it seems that the tomb they bought is from the Nichiren sect. They say that the funeral...

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What is a human being?

Humans are a mass of greed A serious person Good people lose Greedy people seem to be happy I also have worries if these guys aren't judged I also want to live my life with greed I think What is the affliction of this world? Happiness when you let go of...

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How do you quickly give up on things you shouldn't want?

　I have been helped by many sincere responses from everyone, and I feel that little by little, I am now able to understand and practice ways to eliminate emotional suffering. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry that I'm being too spoiled by everyone's kindness, but I'd like to talk to you...

4 responses

What does it mean to take care of yourself?

I was told to take care of myself. What exactly should I do to take care of myself? If you work by listening to what your boss says that it's better not to do anything that makes your position worse, and that it's also important to break things off, Being blamed for “working for...

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Also, how hard should I try?

Good evening. I became a member of society in April of this year, and I am currently in my 3rd month at the company. I was officially assigned from June, and a little over a week has passed since I entered the site. From 3 weeks before I was assigned, I often left breakfast because I felt...

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About death

I have a question about death. For me now, death seems to be the source of hard work now, when even tomorrow is immeasurable, precisely because it is a destination where we will always end up. Whereas when I was in elementary school, I always thought I didn't want to die, but when I was in...

4 responses

About relationships at prep schools

I'm indebted to you. I'm currently 22 years old, and I'm attending prep school to go to college. I think the prep school I go to is rather small. There are only 3 classrooms, and those classrooms are small. The other day, when I was studying on my own in the study room, the private...

4 responses

Mother-in-law trying to take the baby

I gave birth to a baby this year. In the early stages of pregnancy, I was hospitalized once due to an impending miscarriage. After that, my mother-in-law repeatedly invited me to come to Yoshizane's house in the neighboring prefecture. I was invited over and over again because I was...

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Failure on the 49th

Yesterday, I successfully finished my grandfather's 49th memorial service and ossuary ceremony. It was also my first memorial service, I'm worried that I've failed a number of times. (1) The funeral director told me to bring my seat plate and urn on the day, and I didn't bring my portrait,...

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Sutras

I don't belong to any religion right now, but the teachings of Buddhism seem most natural to me. Is it OK to have an ancestral memorial service, a theme with daily wishes for peace, a day to give the Namu Myōhō Renge Kyō, or a day to read the sutras of the Heart Sutra? For example, if you are a...

4 responses

I'm sure I'm a pig

fat, pig, daikon leg, huge body, daifuku, These are some of the words that have been said until now. I was bullied a lot because of my appearance. They giggle, and they can look at their feet with curious eyes. It's so spicy, but I still can't stop eating it. Rather, it heals you by eating...

4 responses

I'd like to ask my relatives to arbitrate.

About 4 months ago, I had 2 consultations with my parents about repairing my relationship. After that, it was a continuation of the consultation. Even after that, I sent out letters, but there was no reply. Even myself, I consulted here and received answers, so I read and thought about it over...

4 responses

Will I be able to have a good relationship with him?

I came to Nagasaki from Goto in Nagasaki prefecture when I was in middle 1. When I was in Goto, I had a temple and 2 Christian churches close to my house, and now it's a strange feeling, but I often went to both. Since I came to Nagasaki City, I wasn't allowed to go back to Goto at all, and...

4 responses

I'm worried about my son's family, but I'm also worried about my own body

Good morning. It's been a while. I know the answers to today's questions, but I'm going to ask them with a sense of emptiness. My son's family's grandson, who lives a little far away, entered elementary school this year. My husband and wife work together, so I think it's hard because they're...

4 responses

Hatred for ex-boyfriends (monks)

My ex-boyfriend is the man who will be the next chief priest. While I had a new girlfriend, she treated me. I can't forgive him, and I want to say it to her. I don't think it's possible for him to have a happy life. I want revenge. I want to hunt them down even if it's light

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About Zen and meditation

I am often indebted to you with questions related to anxiety. Previously, I looked up various ways to overcome anxiety, and Zen and meditation are often taken up. I've heard that it's effective in terms of calming the mind. However, when I look up Zen and meditation, there are various...

4 responses

New Year's Day is the 49th

If the 49th is New Year's Day, should I strictly spend that day alone per day? I don't have his bones, his name plates, or Buddhist altars in my house. I left water in a place where pictures from a time I didn't know, the belly button I brought back from his house after he passed away, a business...

4 responses

What is an adult?

I'll soon be 20 years old. But I can't accept that. I'm afraid to be 20 years old. The actual feeling may not be any different when a 0 year old turns 1 year old. Like every year, family and friends say “congratulations,” eat cake, and maybe another day will pass. However, I can't help...

4 responses

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